Karma was the first and most potent lesson to be learned when I first discovered, and accepted, the reality of being pregnant. I was 28, engaged, but not married, not materially stable, nor ever wishing to procreate! Nature, however, had other plans. Fortunately, being 28 and not 18 (an age at which I was personally far too immature to handle motherhood), I have garnered some tools, some life experiences to help me accept and embrace the blessing of bringing a child into the world.
This acceptance is not automatic for everyone. It took me three months before I felt confident enough with my situation to tell anyone – including my own parents. It seems a common experience that close friends and family will also lag in their acceptance of such a life-altering reality. “Hi, mom…I’m pregnant” are not easy words. The karmic repercussions in my case were soul crushing. I was accused of everything from immaturity to irresponsibility; I was called flighty, flakey, and out of touch with reality. OK, for those who know me personally, I’ll own up to those descriptions. I’m a Pisces on every level…which is why it really didn’t help for my support system to rub it in my face. In the meantime, I hear this is very common. Family will take time to come around. I was fortunate to have friends to remind me of this as often as I needed. “They’ll come around…the same thing happened to me.”
Consider that parents, even the very “liberal” types, hold expectations for their children. Some of the most helpful guidance I received during this distress was to not take on other people’s expectations. I had to claim my life for my own (something I had yet to do at the ripe old age of 28)! My parent’s projections belong solely to them, they are of their own making based on their own life experiences from childhood to parenthood to the present. The version of myself that my parents see…or wish to see, is not mine, is not the authentic me. Identifying and releasing these projections (referred to as psychic “cords” in the shamanic tradition) was extremely liberating for me.
Liberation, like acceptance, is not automatic for everyone. Ridding ourselves of expectations, projections, “cords”, etc. is not as simple as treating morning sickness or leg cramps. This is where we come to the topic of karma…what is it? Karma is a generally accepted word borrowed from Sanskrit; loosely translated it means “action”, i.e., the intricate workings of the universe. In common parlance, we speak of karma as the invisible, unknowable yet absolute unfolding of our personal and collective destinies. Karma is spiritual DNA – equally as mysterious and complex, equally as inescapable. The good news is that we can utilize our awareness to transform our karma, or at least to change how we deal with it. Evolution is based on our ability to recognize and adapt to our karma. Instead of asking “what did I do to deserve this?” we may ask “how can I deal with this in a better way?”
And…there are few greater inspirations for evolution than having a child. What karmic patterns am I passing on? And, as any parent knows, the child himself arrives with his own karmic tendencies. Karmic patterning becomes very clear to the new parent, especially when it comes to the expectations we hold for our children. We expect our children to go to college, to get married, buy a house and have two cars before starting their own families. Why? Perhaps because those are the expectations projected onto us, and consciously or not, we accepted them.
Recognizing the patterns is the first step. Actually, I had no idea how my parents felt about certain topics until I became pregnant! Suddenly it seemed as though they had a passionately personal stake in my life, even though I’ve been independent for over ten years. I had no idea that owning a home and two cars was a prerequisite for becoming a parent…but in my family lineage, apparently it is!
Acceptance comes next – not the tacit acceptance of other’s projections as true, but accepting where their feelings are really coming from. “Your expectations are yours, they belong to you and are not mine. Your junk is yours, my junk is mine. My expectations come from my own experiences, and I must accept them for my own, this is my own karmic baggage. I also accept that your expectations are solely your own, they belong to you, they are your karmic baggage.” The script could go something like that. I found it incredibly helpful to repeat this to myself daily for several weeks. If I began to feel depressed or anxious, I would ask myself where is this coming from? Am I still holding onto someone else’s ideas of who I am, or who I should be?
Releasing these patterns, blocks, tendencies, is the final step. Let go of having to hold on to other’s hopes and fears about you. Let go of other’s definitions of who you are or should be. Forgive yourself for not measuring up to your own expectations. Releasing can be accomplished in many ways – visualization of ‘cutting’ the ‘cords’ is a Shamanic technique. Writing down the patterns as they are recognized and then ritually burning the paper is another method. Working with an osteopath or kinesiologist can be a profound experience of releasing deeply held psychic tendencies through alignment.
Feeling the restless movements of the child in my womb reminds me that I still have a long way to go in recognizing, accepting and releasing these patterns. This is the work of a lifetime! Homeopathy has been a strong support, emotionally and physically, as I continue to work through my ‘karma’. Homeopathy is particularly interested in ‘clearing’ karmic patterns, however they manifest, rather than suppressing or compensating for them. Furthermore, homeopathy may often catalyze the very events needed in one’s life to recognize the negative karmic tendencies that block our path to health!
Thanks for reading and subscribing – here’s to the journey and here’s to your health!