It really is amazing to do a Google search for “spring cleansing.” The sheer volume of results is enough to make the stomach turn. The most criminal thing about the cleansing hype are the profit margins of “cleanse-in-a-box” marketing. Seriously, folks – it’s not that complicated.

This cleansing chart from Buzz Feed is over-simplified and a bit condescending for my taste. BuzzFeed’s run-down of the most popular cleanses includes the basic protocol, average cost per day, benefits, risks and a generally skeptical medical review. It’s a fun chart to scan through – at the end of which we will all be so grateful that we’re not all that crazy (well, maybe just a little bit…) .

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/charted-spring-cleansing#.nl7DrKZgR
http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/charted-spring-cleansing#.nl7DrKZgR

The juice and green smoothie cleanses are probably the most popular. You think you’re giving your body a break, but what the Buzz Feed chart doesn’t take into account is the huge amount of sugar – concentrated fruit sugars – that you’re consuming in lieu of anything else. I used to be big on the raw, unfiltered, fresh-pressed apple juice cleanse (with prune juice at the end of the day), but even that got my glucose so high I had the shakes! (NOT recommended.)

The old-school “Master Cleanse” is for those really hard-core, marathon cleansers. I wonder who they found to interview about why this cleanse is so great? I was never more miserable on a cleanse and I didn’t last more than two days (pretty pathetic by some standards…but cleansing should be joyful, not torture!)

This year I will be focusing on cleansing the liver and gallbladder, but there’s more to it than just drinking olive oil and lemon juice (yak)! How did those nasty little stones get there in the first place? Too much coffee, alcohol, saturated fat and STRESS. Just eliminating those factors can initiate a cleansing cycle in your liver. If your gallbladder starts acting up, adding Apple Cider Vinegar to your daily regimen is the number-one, undisputed cure-all. (Funny such a popular and “scientific” article mentions nothing of this ancient, versatile and inexpensive folk remedy!)

 

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2 thoughts on “Everything that holistic cleansing is NOT

    1. Hi Carluska, I am so glad you are enjoying the articles! Please let me know if there are any specific topics you would like to see me cover here, or feel free to contact me directly with any questions. “Early to bed and early to rise…” -Arwen

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